Monday, November 30, 2009

ULUKAU - Trust us on this one

Last week Loyal Fijian received this very generous and undoubtedly genuine offer via a  comment on our blog.



I may need your assistance in transferring the sum of $ 5.8million into your account, we have to share it, 60% for me and 40% for you... I hope you can be honest with me especially on the sharing process. I'll give you the details as soon as I heard from you.



Here is the Loyal Fijian response:


Dear Sir/Madam


Thank you so much for the unsolicited and utterly generous offer.


The fact that you are aware of our need for money touches our collective hearts. Oh, what we could do with $2.3m.


Is that in Euro's or is it Us Dollars?


Be it as it may, please rest assured of our honesty and assurance that there will be no attempt to defraud you of your fair share.


I mean, why should we? A random comment left on our blogsite offering $2.3 m for absolutely nothing.


And you are worried we might cheat you out of your 60%. C'mon man! Why would we do that?


We are not conmen . We are not trying to cheat anyone. We are honest folks just doing our civil duty.


And if you are so insistent in giving us $2.3 m , of course we are happy to oblige. You will admit , it is quite unusual that somebody will just throw money at you, but hey, we are willing to accept that as as the action of someone who is just too kind.


Can you do us one small favour first though? Only a small one considering we are giving you 60% of the money.


Can you please tattoo the words " ULUKAU" on your right bicep in Bold Aria 32 font and send us a photo as evidence. The photo must be taken at a tattoo parlour with the tattooist doing the work, Trust us we will know if its is real. We are Fijians after all, tattoos are a national pastime.


In case you are wondering what ULUKAU means, it is used to describe all those among us who are blessed with the unique gift superior intellect and wisdom. To be called the ULUKAU is the ultimnate compliment , Trust us on this one, somedays Loyal Fijian hardly gets the chance to say anything but ULUKAU.



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