Monday, November 30, 2009

ULUKAU - Trust us on this one

Last week Loyal Fijian received this very generous and undoubtedly genuine offer via a  comment on our blog.



I may need your assistance in transferring the sum of $ 5.8million into your account, we have to share it, 60% for me and 40% for you... I hope you can be honest with me especially on the sharing process. I'll give you the details as soon as I heard from you.



Here is the Loyal Fijian response:


Dear Sir/Madam


Thank you so much for the unsolicited and utterly generous offer.


The fact that you are aware of our need for money touches our collective hearts. Oh, what we could do with $2.3m.


Is that in Euro's or is it Us Dollars?


Be it as it may, please rest assured of our honesty and assurance that there will be no attempt to defraud you of your fair share.


I mean, why should we? A random comment left on our blogsite offering $2.3 m for absolutely nothing.


And you are worried we might cheat you out of your 60%. C'mon man! Why would we do that?


We are not conmen . We are not trying to cheat anyone. We are honest folks just doing our civil duty.


And if you are so insistent in giving us $2.3 m , of course we are happy to oblige. You will admit , it is quite unusual that somebody will just throw money at you, but hey, we are willing to accept that as as the action of someone who is just too kind.


Can you do us one small favour first though? Only a small one considering we are giving you 60% of the money.


Can you please tattoo the words " ULUKAU" on your right bicep in Bold Aria 32 font and send us a photo as evidence. The photo must be taken at a tattoo parlour with the tattooist doing the work, Trust us we will know if its is real. We are Fijians after all, tattoos are a national pastime.


In case you are wondering what ULUKAU means, it is used to describe all those among us who are blessed with the unique gift superior intellect and wisdom. To be called the ULUKAU is the ultimnate compliment , Trust us on this one, somedays Loyal Fijian hardly gets the chance to say anything but ULUKAU.


Thursday, November 26, 2009

Conversations of Jone, Jaswant and Joe : There is Hope Yet!

A hot evening in Suva, the park opposite the road that is normally filled with kids, young and old, playing touch is desserted. Even the neighbourhood dogs that roam up and down the street are nowhere to be seen.


Everyone prefers the shade on a day like this.



Jone " Isa man! Fiji lost to Wales man. We beat those gang last time we played them man.


Jaswant: I know man. Since they sacked the Human Skewer, we have gone backwards. Our front row lacks the dynamism.


Jone " Chee Chee… many games of rugby have you played?


Jaswant : Whats that got to do with anything? You never played cricket but you always talk about cricket.  You know what I think? Its because they never perform the Cibi.


Jone : (A strict churchgoer) No way man. They prayed before the match. They ask for Gods blessings


Jaswant : Yeah Ok, but wont God help the Welsh team too? Why God will take sides?


Joe :He's right you know. As much as I hate to say this, he is actually making sense for once.


Jone : Seti man, you Kaivalagi's are god-less. And you Kaidia worship 100 Gods, you too confused. What you talking about?


Jaswant " Look Jone, don't criticise my Gods OK. They all listening to you and you never know what might happen aye.


Jone : See, I told you. Cibi is for heathens.


Jaswant : Then why do All Blacks do it, Samoa and Tonga, they all Christians, tell me!!


Jone " Vitalia , we gonna pray and that's it.


Joe : It's a useful psychological tool to psyche yourself up. Its also very commercially viable , look at how popular the All Blacks Haka is. The last game in Japan between Wallabies and All Blacks, most Japanese were supporting All Blacks. I think people like the Haka and relate to the All Blacks.


Jaswant: True. Then why no Cibi?


Jone is quiet. After a long pause, a voice calls out from the dark.


Not even God knows. Its hard to understand irrational acts by applying the framework of widely accepted logic. That's why we are all so confused.


Jone : (Startled) Who is that? Who said that.


Only me says Jone's 5 year old son Timoci who hasn't yet started attending Church.


Yeah, fundamentalism has no rational explanation.


Says Jaswants 4 yr old boy, who hasn't yet been introduced to the wisdom imparted by the Pundits.


Joe is smiling, there is hope yet!

Monday, November 16, 2009

Bring Back the Cibi!!

What? No Cibi?


Not long ago Loyal Fijian had a few words for a certain businessman in Labasa who in the face of competition had tried to do what many have done for thousands before him, claim a direct link to God!


That's right, the Hindu group in Labasa which claims to have a direct line to God and therefore only its services should be used is a classic case of using religion to further their own interests.


Today, Loyal Fijian will discuss another bane of society, Fundamentalism.


The Cibi has been a wonderful spectacle in our rugby tradition for more than half a century. The Cibi is to Fiji what the Haka is to the All Blacks , the Manu Samoa to the Samoans and the Sivi Tau to the Tongans.


Can you imagine if the All Blacks decided they were going to abandon the Haka because their captain is a "born again Christian" and doesn't believe in such pagan rituals.


The All Blacks brand is enhance by the Haka, school kids not only in NZ but Fiji, Japan and even Iceland perform the Haka.


It is a dance. Take it for what it is.


The Fiji Rugby team for the first time in a long time did not perform the Cibi against Wales over the weekend because the captain Seremaia Bai refused to take part.


There is a time to pray and a time to play. Don't mix the two. That's what is called fundamentalism.


Imagine the All Blacks without the Haka? Can you?


Cibi is great promotion for the Fiji Rugby brand, we need all the promotion we get, believe you us !


It is very possible to have a strong faith in God and still manage a balance in all other aspects of life. Very possible.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish!!

Four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish!!

That is supposed to be a meal for 10 labourers who are engaged to harvest cane in Kawakawavesi in Seaqaqa.

Things turned ugly when a group of 10 Fijian labourers who are "camping" at the farm of Uma Dutt in the quiet farming community, were given four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish to prepare their dinner.

The leader of the group indicated that the rations being doled out by Mr Dutt's wife was not enough and asked for more.

An argument ensued and Mr Dutt was slapped across the face.

Four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish!!

That's right!

Four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish!!

On hearing news such as this one scratches the head in disbelief and the greed and lack of compassion that some people demonstrate.

Cane cutters are among the hardest working and most exploited of all labourers in Fiji. They work from 4 in the morning till late at night and what do they get? Next to nothing.

A form of semi-servitude still exists in Fiji's cane belts. Dirt poor labourers and their families are kept by wealthy farmers to work the land. These labourers are given a tin shack to live in . In return , the labourer, his wife and even the young kids sometimes as young as 5 years old are expected to work the farm.

The money the labourers earn is not enough and they resort to taking loans from the farmer, loans which they can never pay off, locking them and their families into a life of semi-servitude.

Four potatoes, two packets of noodles and a can of tinned fish for ten people!!

Ask yourself, what would you do?